Committee to Re‑Elect

WCAT

Undefeated. Untied. Unbothered.

Total Wins 1,842,619 the count has never once gone down
Crowd Approval
82%
RALLY STATUS: BOOTING Robinhood Chain · ETH

Paid for by the Committee to Re-Elect Winning Cat. Parody. Not a real candidate, campaign, or party, and never has been.

Exhibit A

The Platform

Six planks, passed by unanimous vote of a committee of one.

  1. Nine Lives Amendment

    Every claimed life now counts twice, retroactive to birth.

  2. Sunbeam Zoning Act

    Any windowsill between 11am and 2pm is now federal property.

  3. The Loaf Ordinance

    Sitting perfectly still, indefinitely, now counts as a public service.

  4. Universal Nap Insurance

    No nap goes uninsured. Coverage starts the moment the eyes close.

  5. Red Dot Pursuit Act

    Full funding for the chase. None for the catch. That was never the point.

  6. Open Can Policy

    Every can opened inside city limits earns a press release of its own.

Exhibit B

The Committee

Winning Cat did not get this far alone. Five more paws showed up, and stayed.

Mittens

Deputy Director of Naps

Sleeps through every debate. Wins anyway.

Bootsy

Press Wrangler

Answers every question with a purr. Somehow it counts.

Old Tom

Treasurer

Counts the funds in fish. Always comes up short. Never worried.

Sockpuppet

Campaign Strategist

Literally a puppet. Historically accurate for the role.

Scratch

Field Coordinator

Has never lost an argument with a scratching post.

Exhibit C

Press Room

Selected releases from the campaign's press office, dated and stamped.

For Immediate Release · Night Lot, Precinct 6

Committee Confirms Tally Has Never Gone Down

Asked whether the win count could ever decrease, campaign spokescat Bootsy declined to answer the question as asked, then answered a different one instead.

For Immediate Release · Hood of a Parked Sedan

Applause Meter Surge Ruled Not a Malfunction

An internal review found the meter working exactly as designed: it fills, resets, and fills again, on command, on a loop. The review was conducted by the committee, about the committee.

For Immediate Release · Undisclosed Alley, West Side

Committee Declines to Comment on Rival Cat Rumors

Reports of a second cat entering the race went unaddressed at today's briefing. Old Tom attempted a headcount in fish instead. The number did not add up. He seemed fine with that.

Exhibit D

Frequently Asked

Questions the campaign gets asked, answered on the record.

Is Winning Cat a real candidate?

No. This is parody. Winning Cat cannot hold office, is not on any ballot, and has no platform beyond the one on this page.

What does "undefeated" mean here?

It means the tally only moves up. It is not a poll, a projection, or a claim about any real election, anywhere.

Can I vote for Winning Cat?

You can cheer, which is not voting. Voting happens at your polling place, for candidates who exist.

Who funds this committee?

This is a parody page, not a campaign finance filing. There is no donor list behind it, and no real election on the other end of the button.

Does the WINS tally mean anything?

It means you clicked. That is the entire mechanism, and the entire joke.